[or-roots] Buttonhole relative

[Kith-n-Kin]

Les

 

So, anyone who was eligible for a boutonniere at a wedding was a buttonhole relative, ‘cause that’s where you put the boutonniere <G>.

 

I don’t recall that we had a term for that when I was young, but later my mother referred to “calabash cousins,” a term she picked up in Hawaii, from my brother’s in-laws. A calabash is a large bowl that becomes a communal meal pot, and anyone who is a “relative” is welcome at the calabash.  I see that Wikipedia has found this as well:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calabash

 

Pat

 

From: or-roots-bounces at listsmart.osl.state.or.us [mailto:or-roots-bounces at listsmart.osl.state.or.us] On Behalf Of Leslie Chapman
Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2012 11:20 AM
To: Robyn Greenlund; or-roots mail list
Subject: Re: [or-roots] Buttonhole relative

 


I use it in the context of "related by marriage" I remembered it as coming from some fancy French word for button hole (boutonniere; I had to look it up) but on further review;

 

http://www.ehow.com/about_6636416_etiquette-wedding-buttonholes.html

 

It is now just a plain old "button hole" note the space, that makes all the difference in the world.

 

When I am referring to say a 2x buttonhole relative for example I mean someone like Uncle Herschel's in-laws who I grew up thinking of as my Aunts and Uncles even though they are married to the sibling of a man who married my Aunt. I was easily as fond of some of them as I was of my own Aunt and Uncles.

 

So when I refer to being multiple buttonholes away from Kin,  which I sometimes wander into as I get obsessed with certain names or places,  I am referring to people way off of my main line. 

 

I think "shirttail relative" is more inclusive, at least in my understanding of the terms, as I use button hole only in the context of "not Kin" but still "related" while "shirt tail" seems to be more broadly used not only for them, but distant cousins and "honorary" relatives. 

 

I have been confused by that term as some of the people I grew up thinking of as Kin turned out to be just honorary relatives, though I was vindicated in my misunderstanding of the Abbot family as they are at least button hole rather than shirt tail kin.

 

It is interesting that I seem to be one of a very limited circle of people that show up in searching that term. I have been asked a couple of times to explain other obscure terms by people who found references in their family histories they didn't understand and somehow ended up at one of my "button hole" relative posts.

 

Les

--- On Mon, 12/3/12, Robyn Greenlund <rgreenlund61 at yahoo.com> wrote:


From: Robyn Greenlund <rgreenlund61 at yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [or-roots] Buttonhole relative
To: "or-roots mail list" <or-roots at listsmart.osl.state.or.us>
Date: Monday, December 3, 2012, 10:41 AM

I'm guessing it's a variant of a shirt-tale relative, which is "usually said to refer to somebody who is a relative by marriage or is only distantly related, such as a fourth cousin, or is a family friend with honorary status as a relative. It’s fairly common in the USA and has been since the 1950s or thereabouts."

 

 

Robyn
rgreenlund61 at yahoo.com <http://rgreenlund61@yahoo.com/> 

Interested in Coos County History? See what's online at
genealogytrails.com <http://genealogytrails.com/ore/coos> , coquillevalley.org <http://coquillevalley.org/> , or orgenweb.org <http://orgenweb.org/coos/>  

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